It’s a question I have pondered many times in my life, in many different ways, and received answers from many different perspectives. We can look at our behaviours and feelings as a way of exploring this.
From one viewpoint we can see that social conditioning, society and family expectations profoundly influence what we do. If we look a little deeper we can link this to our values, our wounds and what gives us energy:
“I am driven through old wounds, my self-esteem is low so I must achieve great things in order to have a greater sense of myself.” (Been there, done that).
Or, “I am driven by wanting to make change in the world because of the upsets I have experienced and I don’t want others to go through the same hurt.” (Know that one too).
All of the answers give us new levels of awareness about our ego or personality and the way we see the world and others in it. This is the part of us that has developed as a consequence of this (and maybe other) lifetime’s experiences. Family, peers, environment all shaping us into who we are and what we do.
So if I step back into myself and witness from this deeper awareness, I see my personality and behavioral patterns playing out in the world. I can see the wounded and healed aspects of my personality and can understand, from this perspective, why I do what I do.
But if I stay in my core, that deeply peaceful, grateful, loving and joyful me, what is there to do? From this place, all the suffering I witness in myself and others is on track. There is perfection in the imperfection, there is potential for deep unfolding and a knowing within the confusion and despair.
From this perspective it feels like there is truly nothing to do. Then, why go on? Why live? Why life at all?
So I return to moments that hold me here, to experiences that I cherish. I return to my children because they are the purest experience of unconditional love: when time stops as we embrace in a hug; when we laugh at something random; when I witness them in their amazingness. There is nothing to do from this place, simply allow. Allow the joy of the moment, allow the love to penetrate deeply and nourishingly. There is no need to create, simply allow, because this is the truth of who we are at our core.
I broaden my gaze and recognise this same potential in every moment and with every meeting with another and with nature. What holds us back? Fear, judgment, old patterns. If we let go of all these, our core radiates through. Now that is something to be inspired by, that’s something to stick around for.
So I’ll stay with this new understanding of my ‘Why?’. I will remind myself that there is nothing to do, I simply allow joy in every moment, because it’s our natural state of being.
Love and Wisdom, Mandy