There is a flow to life that, when we surrender to it, can take us in its current, filling our life with ease and grace. Can you image how creating boundaries can help you be in your flow? You could easily be forgiven if the first image that comes to mind is that a boundary might in fact, reduce flow, like a dam across a river. So let’s explore this more.
Our life is a journey of creation and healing. Many people focus on the establishment of a happier/healthier life and as part of this, begin to explore their spiritual nature. Often when we begin to awaken to a deeper sense of ourselves, our core essence, we loose the ability to say NO when it’s needed. And we may fail to be clear with others when their behaviors are inappropriate towards us. We tend to focus on being compassionate and understanding of their wounds. We see them becoming triggered and witness issues playing out in relationships and life in general.
If we are present at our deepest core truth, we can even witness another treating US badly, and if we can stay centered, we can witness the other’s woundedness with compassion and send them love. Depending on where we are on our own awakening journey, we may also witness our own ego/woundedness/beliefs being triggered in that moment.
Now here comes the necessity for boundaries…. We need to work within our own limitations! That wounded/ego part of US still needs our loving awareness and needs to be honoured. Don’t leave that part of you exposed and not expect a backlash of some sort later. If you pretend it is all ok, and in truth, it is not… (hello ego trigger coming forward now…) then you’re going to feel terrible. Questioning why you’re letting yourself be walked over and be treated badly…
At this same moment our subconscious beliefs may also be playing out, e.g. “I’m not worthy of being treated well”, “I need to stay quiet to be safe” AND “It’s ok and normal for people to shout at one another”. These beliefs may have developed as a consequence of your own life experiences. These limiting beliefs will play out when you attempt to stand up in that moment and tell the other “No, it’s not OK for you to treat me that way”, “I need you to tell me the truth” OR “It’s time we walked away from this relationship”.
You may think that the only reason to put boundaries in place is due to fear, i.e. “If you continue to behave that way, I’m going to feel rejected, hurt or get angry …. So just stop it would you!” However, what if you put boundaries in out of love? Love for both yourself and the other. We place boundaries in our lives because we love ourselves enough to know that we deserve to be treated with respect. Now that feels like flow.
We place boundaries in our lives to help the other become aware of when they’re behaving in a triggered way. We can do this out of love and with compassion. Oh… hello Flow, I feel you again.
Love and Wisdom, Mandy